I grow ever-weary of the limits, torment, endless self-deprecation, body-shaming, insecure pandering, oatmeal-mouthed, whiny women out there. Truly, we complain about "MEN" yet men do the many of the rotten things they do (save rape) because we have allowed them to do so.
I have found that when people -- particularly women -- are asked to name something they are good at, or something that they like/love about themselves, the immediate response is a wiggly, silly, "Uh but I'm not good at stuff," or "I don't know," or "I can't do anything!""God, I can't do that!" Or some other entirely self-negating answer, usually seasoned by a dumb expression on our faces...eye rolling, giggling...
Many feel fine coming right out and saying, "There's nothing." "I can't think of anything." One, this is not accurate, and two, it is a rotten thing to willingly say about yourself. How have we come to utter and think such deeply horrid things to ourselves and to *others!?* All of us have gifts. Can you imagine your children speaking this way about themselves? It would break your hearts. However, you provide them with models to follow every single time you utter shitty words about yourself.
I know...I was the daughter of a (beautiful, deeply, vastly intelligent and talented) Mother who had NO self-love and spoke in the most disrespectful way about herself. It has been a devastating thing, and to learn other ways has taken YEARS. Years to find my own sense of self without the immediate jump to cutting myself down, which was default. I will battle this the rest of my life, but I will NOT continue being a shitty role model for females and males, by willingly adopting this "I am nothing" stance that so many of us are encouraged to take on. I fight it every day, and every day, I feel my spine strengthen and my head raise.
What about DIGNITY? Dignity, a trait and position we would be benefitted by trying to always develop, is corroded and goes straight down the drain when we cut ourselves down. I refuse to live without dignity, and it has nothing to do with looks, money or social position. Some of the poorest people with whom I have been friends, or worked with, have possessed a stable, beautiful humble dignity that so many of us have lost. It has nothing to do with ego.
What about honest, non-ego-driven pride in the things we have developed and accomplished? It doesn't have to be loud horn-tooting -- that's ego, so many way-too-loud women out there screaming about how great they are, also UGH. I refer to the deeper realities, the truths about our beings, beyond the daily games played by attention seekers.
I detest our societally encouraged inclinations to become silly and insecure, like whiny doggies, when we it's suggested to us that we think about our talents, the things that are great about us...or anything else that celebrates the things that make us each the person who we are.
I decided some time back, that I needed to re-discover my dignity, and came to the conclusion that it was disrespectful to the higher powers / God (whatever be your thing) to negate and minimize the gifts we are given due to some absurd concept of self-aggrandizement. I find it ego-driven to feel embarrassed by recognizing our gifts, as though we, and our individual little personalities were solely responsible for our successes and positive experiences.
YES. we have a LOT to do with it. And our work and consciousness in cultivating our gifts is crucial; to be celebrated. However, we all have been born with given talents, given skills, given inclinations toward certain excellent attitudes and practices. Others have been fortunate to live exposed to circumstances that have also given them depth and knowledge. Those are not due to our being hot shit. They are gifts.
Why not honor these gifts by ACKNOWLEDGING them, without ego, without bragging. If we have these gifts, we are fortunate, and we are not necessarily being conceited or arrogant on naming and honoring them.
OK. So. Sermon over.
Question: where do you think your gifts came from? What are they (i.e. what do you love about yourself!?)?
Are there gifts you have that you feel you have not respected fully? What are those?
